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"Life As The Ultimate Game"

The main characteristics of the sin in paradise were disobedience, independence and egoism, turning a perfect place of self-giving love into a hell of accusations of the other, self-centeredness and actually death, first spiritually and later literally. Every single sin ever since is characterized by the transgression of Adam (not of Eve; according to the apostle Paul she was misled). The overall character is the attempt to be like God. To play god is the ultimate game of life. Some religions, such as that of the Mormons, even promise some form of divinity for its adherents. But most people are realistic enough that such a thing is not in the offing. Yet subconsciously we long to be like God and this is acted out in independence and disobedience from His Person. In every which way we tend to play like little gods in the surroundings of our making; or if the circumstances overwhelm us, we become depressed or rebellious, because our 'god game' is thwarted. God did not plant the test tree of the knowledge of good and evil to pester us, but to teach us to trust Him and to love Him, so that we could love one another!

In Isaiah 58. 2-10 the Lord explains to us that often our religiosity is hypocritical. We fast, we supposedly do this and that for God, but He does not answer. Why? Because, we play a psychologico-spiritual game, in which our ego is the god that lifts itself up over all the others. We oppress, instead of to serve. We take, instead of to give. If we were to stop pointing with our index finger to others, then we would call and He would answer immediately. Take notice that when you point a finger at somebody else, there are three fingers that point back.

This is all the more shameful for me, as I wrote a booklet "Everybody his own god?", in which I explain how our wicked heart wants to be god unto itself in every which way. And apparently my own wicked heart wants to use this book to play god over everybody else. Also the psychological and spiritual game of playing victim and complaining about others as "the evil party", shows that we, when disappointed about our lives, hang onto this game and it is just another way to do this. The cause is simply pride and implacability and a deceitful attitude that keep being fed by ourselves. This all because the heart considers the insults of others as unpardonable sins (all unbeknown to ourselves until "the Word that is sharper than any two-edged sword penetrates us to the division of spirit and soul and bone and marrow and that is a discerner of the thoughts and deliberations of the heart" sheds its judicial light upon us and convicts us of this evil game). Therefore it can be so difficult to forgive and to let go and therefore we run the risk of growing a root of bitterness. For, as long as we do not forgive and let go of the others and as long as we keep pointing the finger at the others as the cause of our misfortune, or as the opponents to the truth; the heart can play its game as the wronged party, whereas most of the time we ourselves are (also) to blame. And the Lord advises us: "Let go and you will be let go, do not judge and you will not be judged, etc."

If somebody as much as touches our image of God, then we feel insulted. Why? Because in our wicked hearts we are one with God and God Himself is one with that image. "If you touch my God, then you touch me..." As if God is an extension of our own personality. Rightly did Job state to his friends: "You stand in God's stead." One might say: "You are playing God over me with your own narrow-minded image of God."

In the world they would say that it is simply a game of the good guys versus the bad guys, but we know that there is in the first place a vertical reality here, the ultimate game, the rebellion of the wicked heart that plays god against the true God; which is the autotheism (self-deification) that has been upon us, since Adam and Eve put it into motion. Isaiah 17. 9 puts it this way: "The heart is more crooked than anything, yes mortally sick it is; who can know it?" This holds also for us, enlightened Christians so-called.

It becomes more and more clear to me that also for us Christians God is an extension of our own personality and a means to an end and we ourselves are the end. No wonder that the Lord must come against us, for He resists the proud and gives grace to the humble. Therefore we should humble ourselves under His mighty hand that He may exalt us in His time.

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