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Golden Mean in Sexual Matters

"Let the marriage bed be undefiled."

"You men, love your wives like Christ gave Himself for the Church."

"...those that have wives as if they had no wives."

Literal or physical aspect

Intellectual aspect

Emotional aspect

Spiritual aspect

"Your breasts are like grape clusters ... as twins of a roe." "Be drunk with her breasts at all times." Sex is pure pleasure.

"Love is as strong as death." "You men ... live with your wives with understanding ... giving honor ... that your prayers may not be hindered." Sex is all about communication.

"And Isaac ... took Rebecca and she became his wife and he loved her." "And David consoled Bathsheba." "You men ... live with your wives with understanding ... giving honor ... that your prayers may not be hindered." Sex is all about emotion.

"He that marries, does well; he that does not marry, does better." "And Joseph did not have communion with his wife till Jesus was born." "It is a good thing not to touch a woman." Continence and abstinence are better.

Off-color jokes.

Exaggerated prudishness.

Living apart together.

Sex is only for procreation.

Fornication & adultery.

Sex and pleasure are evil.

Orgies/tantric sex.


To those that overemphasize continence the apostle Paul advises not to withhold what is due (the orgasm) to your partner. But he also counsels us not to marry in the first place, if one is able to abstain (for, he says, "It is better to marry than to burn with desire").

The Bible teaches us that we must not desire our wives like the heathen do and then I think of things like anal sex. Cunnilingus, fellatio, Russian sex and masturbation, I do not want to condemn and must be left up to a couple. In some states in the U.S. these things are still forbidden by old laws, just as if the government deals with us as some crazed and actually dirty mediaeval Jesuit.

In this section I do not want to deal with all the ins and outs of sexual matters and with its role in history. I leave that up to the interest of the reader. But I feel inclined to point out that just as in the ancient culture of the Greeks, before the coming of the Lord in the flesh (who came in the 'fulness' of the times); lesbianism and homosexuality were rampant. And also now, in our time that approaches the end of the Christian era, this is the case. I only have to refer the attentive reader to texts like in Romans chapter one. To the argument that such people are born that way and that they cannot help it, I answer that they are under demonic influence from their puberty, or even earlier. For them continence is the best way to go. It is better to struggle a lifetime against your urges (this also holds for pedophiles, travestites, transsexuals, bestials as well as for 'stags', nymphomaniacs and hermaphrodites) than to go to eternal perdition or to be ashamed, though saved, at the coming of the Lord in the clouds. God did create man and woman, not two Eves or two Adams.

The Bible teaches the golden mean, given in the golden sections. To stress one side only is to neglect the other and actually to the detriment of what you value so much. Also here it should be clear that one must not veer off on a tangent too much to the right or to the left. The four aspects of spirit, soul, mind and body need each other, governed of course by the conscience, the will and the heart (the center of our personality). Though we live in a fallen and damaged creation, the Lord in His mercy and grace, provides us with wisdom through the Bible that we can carry out in a God honoring life in creation.

Having spoken very briefly about those that commit sexual sins, I also would like to say something to their victims. It usually takes years, if ever, to deal with something like that and to get over it. But you must work towards forgiveness and letting go off the whole affair. This also holds for all forms of incest. If not, then you will be consumed by your fear, frustration, anger, jealousy and whatever tortures you the most. The Lord can and does give deliverance to many and also wants to bless you. I personally struggled for years with my sexuality after my wife left me (also due to my weakness and hardness of heart), but after confessing my sins (pornography and ((too)) frequent masturbation) and after beseeching Him for the gift of abstinence, in His grace and mercy He gave me that. And I am sure that, if He had not granted me that, He would have given me a second wife. Of course this is nothing in comparison with people that are forced into prostitution, or that are victims of pedophiles, parents, siblings or relatives. But the principle is the same, healing and deliverance.

Listen to our youtube video on LGBT's.



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