I am very angry with you, o God.
You have allowed my life to become a hell.
Why don't you kill me?
Yes, kill me!
At least then I am delivered from this scene.
I am so dog-gone angry,
I feel I could become a satanist.
I feel like cursing you in your face.
I feel like challenging you on your throne.
Where is your own omnipotence?
Where your omniscience?
Where your justice?
Where your love?
Where your holiness?
What kind of a God are you anyway?
All is dark around me, very dark.
There seems to be no hope.
Why have you left me?
How long will you leave me alone?
Is this your way of testing me?
I cry aloud.
I writhe with pain.
Yet there is no answer.
I cannot curse you.
You have given, and you have taken.
I wish you had never given.
Is this a game?
The beast will curse you.
It is a human reaction.
For who can understand your ways?
You give the garden of Eden,
Then you allow its destruction.
This earth is a hell.
Why do I cling to you?
Because satan is a bastard.
I cannot turn away from you.
Even if I wanted.
If I did.
It would only be a reaction.
I cannot mean it.
I am stuck with you.
You are my God for ever.
If you are evil;
Than there is no hope, ever.
Help me miserable sinner, o God!
Please, comfort me NOW.
Please, take me in your arms.
Please, give me some measure of happiness.
In my anger I have shouted: I hate you, God!
And my face was contorted with hatred.
I even called on satan for help.
Nothing seems to touch you.
O, how I wish I could love and praise you with ALL my being---