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Meet The Chimps!


In a large jungle close by there lived a numerous group of chimpanzees. They did have their problems, but by and large they fared well using their natural instincts. Until a bunch of youngsters arose that proclaimed themselves as the new generation of the enlightened ones. They promised the jungle to their listeners and in this way gained more and more influence. The first thing they organized was a bartering market. Bananas, coconuts and berries were exchanged. Then somebody got the brilliant idea of offering IOY's. Subsequently this astute thinker said they should buy and sell those IOY's and the market flourished. An elder chimpanzee warned that they were trading in baked air. "It is impossible to turn 10 bananas into 30 bananas without gathering them. And what if many of those IOY's are cashed in or sold? Do those mountains of imaginary bananas then simply disappear? They tell me that right now the index shows 30,000 bananas, but there are only 7000 in stock. It is crazy! The one natural thing is to pluck your own bananas and eat them and share them with your children." But he was laughed away as an old geezer and his advice was silenced as thwarting the progress of their society.

Their youth had the time of their lives. Free time at their hands! One such group of imps went into the forest and chanced upon a lone baboon. "Look," the ringleader said. "He is helping himself! That is no behavior for a baboon. Let us startle him." And they started howling and throwing clods of dirt at him. With his tail between his legs he scurried off and the path urchins shouted victory.

Another thing happened. The weak were exploited and their food was rationed. Even if they plucked only 10 bananas a day and 5 coconuts, they had to hand over 4 bananas and 2 coconuts to the leaders, who spoiled their own brood and lived in luxury. The weak and the sick had no choice but to send out their own offspring into the forest to find grubs and ants. Some tried dodging the taxes, but were severely punished as rebels and revolutionaries subverting the system. The weakest among them started eating grass like the buffalo on the prairy, which made them even weaker.

Then one day the most successful trader shared a secret with his closest associates. "Listen, my friends, I have captured a bonobo beauty who just turned mature and chained her down in a cave. Let us have our fun with her and I bet you she will even like it." So said, so done. At the end of the wretched orgy they conspired to capture more young apes from rival gangs and to start trading them in secret. They would parade their wares below great oaks and whisper in your ear: "10 bananas for satisfaction. 20 bananas for the works and for 50 bananas you can do anything you want with them, even SM." Occasionally they would sell 'unused' ladies for 400 bananas.

It took only a few seasons for these developments to take place. Ladies would buy hammocks made from vines and enjoy fermented berries mixed with coconut milk. One of them confided in her friend. "I am with child, but cannot afford to raise it without giving up my lifestyle. I think I will just abandon it in the forest." "No problem, my love. Just eat some bunga bunga berries and the clump will be easily rejected. It is no big deal. After all, you live only once, right? You have to make the most of it. You never know whether some accursed lion will get the better of you." The concerned society lady went into the bushes and ate the bunga bunga berries. All of a sudden there was a cry and a moan. Her friend went after her to help her. It was an awful sight. Blood was all over the place and a dreadful heap of what looked like a head on top of flesh and blood was still moving. "Listen to me now and listen well. This is for the best of you. Also for the best of the baby. It would never have been loved. Be strong and carry on as if nothing has happened. Be strong!"

"I do not understand what is happening," one youngster observed to another. "My mother and father have developed a fever. Their eyes have turned all blurry and they can't walk anymore. The neighbor lady had the same problem and was eaten by a tiger. I thought they had been bitten by snakes, but it is far worse. All over the village there are young and babies crying and groaning for food. Also there has been a run on the market." "Look over there!" screamed the other, "O my, they are jumping from the rocks at the exchange." Over the next month the strong ones ate the weaker chimps, only to die themselves afterwards . The young ones were left to fend for themselves, but started killing each other. Most of them fell victim to boa constrictors, lions and tigers and other predators and scavengers as well. Others wasted away. Not being able to cope with the sheer disaster, the remainder committed suicide.

Two nightengales looked upon the scene and stopped their song. "Awful what is going on there." "You can chirp that again," answered the other "I do not feel like chirping anymore. The forest is eerily silent. Even the trees seem to bend over. I am so afraid a tsunami will come and carry the entire forest away into oblivion. Let us find shelter elsewhere."

One clever youth hid in a cave and discovered a trough of bananas, berries and coconuts, hidden by some wealthy merchant. "I am saved!" he sighed. Then he heard a slight lamenting and a weak cry. "Help me, help me." He went further into the cave and saw a beautiful young female chimp, chained to the wall. "Help me," she repeated. He freed her and they lived for a few weeks on the food found in abundance in the cave. "What are we to do now?" she asked sobbing. "They are all dead, or moved on elsewhere." "We will just start over and make sure this will never happen again," he answered. "But how could this all have happened in the first place?" And her new found love concluded. "It was all madness, my dear, all madness..."




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