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Piggy Country

(This little story is not meant inflammatory or revolutionary. I think that in fact the richest and most powerful countries are so advanced because God blesses them as they have the largest numbers of born-again Christians)

Three little piggies went to market. Brown, Jones, and Robinson were their names. They were truly what you call Epicuri de grege porci! Happy piggies they were, for this was their evening out! They had rented a stretched limousine, white on the outside and black leather on the inside. What a car! As they floated along the roads leading up to piggy town, they drank champagne from the limo's bar. Fun they had! Laugh they did!

At the market they went to the statue of Venus, the piggy goddess of love. There they initiated the evening by doing homage, as was wont to piggies in piggy land. It promised to be a wow of an evening; they were going to paint the town red! For this was the favorite pastime in piggy land. Piggy culture was totally geared up to give its cult members a helluva time .

The constitution of piggy country guaranteed "the absolute right to the pursuit of any pleasure." The piggy law courts upheld this constitution with the basic rule: "All thou wilt, shall be all thy law." Whenever there was a law suit the piggy judge tried to find out whether and how the balance of pleasure had been upset. The witnesses were enjoined to declare "the pleasure, the whole pleasure, and nothing but the pleasure."

With this social conscience in mind our three little piggy friends set out to enjoy themselves. They went to the piggy pleasure house and joined the free-for-all that was going on there. There was much fodder withal and mud baths to sleep in at the end. They cavorted till the wee hours and subsequently slept into the next day.

When the sun stood high our three little friends woke up with their respective hangovers. They went outside after a while. There, to their great surprise, they found a sheep standing.

"What are you doing here in piggy land," asked one of them.

"I'm here to warn you about the bogeyman. Some day he'll catcha all."

"Bah, nonsense!" replied another.

"No, really! If you come with me, then I will lead you to our country. Our shepherd will turn you into sheep and you will be safe and sound. There is good green grass, calm waters and much more!"

"Ridiculous! We don't want to go to that funny farm of yours. We wouldn't give up our life style for anything. We are piggies."

"Well, at any rate I warned you."

"Go away, silly thing, to wherever you came from. We were born pigs and we will die as pigs!"

But, as they say, to all good things there comes an end. For the happy piggies did not reckon with the prime enemy of their state--the piggy bogeyman! There once had been heated debates over his existence. But most piggies fell into disbelief, except for the piggy bogeyman worshippers. But these were regarded as crackpots and so largely ignored.

The piggy bogeyman had the following technique. Whenever he wanted piggies, he threw certain pills on the ground. All piggies went completely haywire over those pills! They gobbled them up thoughtlessly, not realizing they were thus led down a path. When it was too late, the hooks grabbed them up helplessly out of piggy life. Then the bogeyman grinned:

"Gotcha, more fodder for the bogeyman factory! I can smell the bacon already--."

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